Most of these poems are from when I was in High School I am working on typing up some more recent ones.

All poems are © Denise Haupert any reproduction without recognition is plagerism!! Where possible please link back to me if you use any quotes.

The Tears Washed The Pain Away

The wind is blowing
I hear the window pane rattle
The draft blows right through me
The pain in my heart starts an internal battle
Rain is starting to fall
Tears are starting to flow
It rains for over an hour
I cry for more than an hour

The clouds start to move on, the rain has stopped
I get up, wipe my eyes, and go to that same rattling pane
But the wind has stopped, and the pane no longer rattles
The rain has driven the wind far away
The sky is engulfed in a beautiful rainbow
I notice I have stopped crying
The tears have washed my pain away, I have moved on
I catch a glimpse of the mirror, for the first time in a while there is a smile

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One Year

What would you do if you only had one year left to live?
If you were told that a year from today would be your funeral...
Would you blow all your money on everything you always wanted?
Would you live life for each day?

What if you had never told your true love how you felt?
If you knew this would be your last chance to have their love......
Would you throw yourself at their feet?
Would you do everything in your powers to love them as if your life depended on it?

What would you do if you were told that nothing could save your life?
If you knew there was no cure....
Would you take your own life instead?
Would you just give up?

What if you had never gone on your dream vacation?
If you had the money to go on your dream vacation...
Would you go away to all the places you always wanted to go in life?
Would you fly off and spend the rest of your days in paradise?

What would you do if no one could help you?
If all the people you knew were reaching out to you...
Would you push them away?
Would you abandon your friends and family?

What if you had never accomplished your dream?
If you had the chance to achieve your one real dream...
Would you put all your effort into striving for your goal?
Would you die trying to be your best and achieve your dream?

What would you do if you lived this last year negatively?
If you found that you really were going to live...
Would you feel that that you wasted a year?
Would you feel depressed for not doing the things you wanted to?

What if you lived this last year positively?
If you found out that you really were going to live...
Would you see how much you could accomplish in just a year?
Would you have to wait to be told that you only have one year left before starting to live your life?

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Nervous Love

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say

All I know is how I feel
All I care about is how you feel?

When I'm around you I get all nervous
My hands shake and I try not to make eye contact
My hands want to reach out for yours
But I won't let them
What if you pull away?
My eyes want to stare into yours
But I won't let them
What if you look away?

Could I handle that?
Would it be worth it?

What are you thinking about?
How do you feel?

You sit there looking so calm
I wish I could be like that
What do you know that I don't?
But are you really calm?
I guess you could feel the same way
You said you are nervous and scared too
I still don't believe it
But I trust you

Should I believe it?
How can I?

Do you feel the same way?
What should we do, if you do?

Every time I look at you I smile
There is no way to prevent it
No matter how horrible I feel
The sound of your voice...
I cannot even describe it
Whenever you are around I can never be upset
All I have to do is look into your eyes
Nothing can harm me when I'm there

What would I do without you?
I don't even want to think about it

Do you know that I will always be there for you?
Nothing can change that

When I'm around you all I can think about is you
I want to hold your hand or tickle you
Just to feel your touch
I look forward to saying goodbye
Just so I can kiss your cheek
When you aren't around all I can think about is you
Every time I close my eyes I think of your face
For once I'm happy

You are my closest friend
That will never change

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time

it could be me
it should be me
but it is not
i want you to be happy
and you are happy
that is what makes me so upset
i want to be the one to make you happy
we are supposed to make each other happy
you and me
that was the way it was meant to be
but time does not allow it
i just want you to be happy
if i have to sacrifice being happy then i will
for you it is worth it
but when you are no longer happy come back to me and maybe then...
maybe then time will be on our side for once

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And That Is The End

You told me only what I couldn't do
Did you ever think about telling me what I could do?
I guess I must have surprised you
You would have never guessed I would have been able to do this
Do you regret all that you said to me?
Do you wish you could have been nicer?
Do you wish you could go back and change it all?
Well you can't!!!
And I will never forgive you
Maybe I should thank you
If not for you I would not be where I am today
I guess you could say you gave me that extra little push
I lay here and wonder if this is what you wanted
Maybe deep down
With your support who knows what I could do
But without it this was the only thing I could do
You should be proud
So many do not succeed on their first try
I can't wait to see the look on your face when you walk through that door
It is getting harder to keep my eyes open
You are running late
It might be too late to see you cry
What if you don't cry?
What have I done??
I am now crying
I go to wipe my tears
I can't lift my hand
There is no pain but it is impossible to move
Why did I do it?
Were things that bad?
You pushed me over the edge!!!
I slit my wrist and my blood is now draining from my body
I don't want to die!!!
But it is too late
My life is slipping away and quickly
It is not fair!!
I thought things would be different
I thought you would save me
Your car is pulling into the drive way
You are almost 20 minutes late
There is no way to get me to a hospital
I can't face you
I don't want you to see me like this
I hear your keys in the door
I shut my eyes and wish death to come sooner
The door knob is turning
I don't want you to see me like this
Please don't scream
Door is now being pushed open
You are looking at me in disbelief
I force my eyes to meet yours
That is when I hear your scream
I mouth the words I am sorry
But you are crying and can't see my lips move
My eyes close and that is the end

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alone

all of this has no emotions
no matter what i say it means nothing
i'm not saying anything
this machine
this cold cold machine
does all my talking

i am gutless
this is the only way i know how to do this
can you blame me
when i face you i am nothing
here i am who i think i am
so what's the difference

i am all alone
why am i surprised
i have always been alone
it just took till now for me to notice
thanx for your help
I owe it all to you

this is good-bye
don't act upset
it is just that
an act and nothing more
nothing more is left here
not for me or you

so go away and never return
that's what you want
isn't it
i'll just sit here alone
eventually i'll die
maybe then i won't be so damn alone

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Crashing Down to Reality

My mind is drifting in the clouds
My heart is pounding against the shore
My soul is spinning in millions of different directions
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
I feel so confused
I can't write
I can't think
It is all your fault
But I love you for it
You have thrown my world upside down
But now this
You have thrown it all out
Maybe I am as worthless as I originally thought
Maybe things can never work out
What made me think anything good could happen
Love is an evil thing
It can lift your spirits one day
But the next you come crashing back down to reality

-------------------------

Drip, Drip, Drip

I hear that ticking that is my life
I notice that it is getting louder

tick

I feel like it is starting to slip away
Nothing seems familiar anymore

tick, tick

The ticking sounds hollow, empty
It is very loud but it seems so distant, out of reach

tick, tick, tick

The noise is deafening
My head is pounding, I can't think

Tick, Tick, Tick

I Can't Stand This
I Want To Make It Stop

TICK, TICK, TICK

WHY WON'T IT STOP??
I KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT STOP!!!

TICK, Tick, tick

The ticking stopped
But now I hearing the constant dripping

DRIP, DRIP, DRIP

When will it stop?
Long after I'm dead!

---------------------

I have nothing

I have to turn away
I have to go away
I have to hide away
I have to seek shelter
I have to find help
I have no one to turn to
I have no one to go to
I have no one to hide with
I have no one to seek shelter with
I have no one to find help from
I have no where to turn
I have no where to go
I have no where to hide
I have no where to seek shelter
I have no where to find help
Can I turn to you?
No?
Can I go to you?
No?
Can I hide with you?
No?
Can I seek shelter with you?
No?
Can you help me?
No?
I have nothing, no one, nothing at all

------------------------

I'll Live With My Decision

Should I?

After what you said today I did lots of thinking
I stood in front of a mirror and held a razor
The shiny blade looked very sharp
I stared hard and imagined what it would look like when I was through
I pictured the blood drying on that shiny blade
Maybe a piece of skin hanging off the edge
The handle held loosely in my hand
I see myself lying there
On the cold tiles of my bathroom floor
My eyes wide and glossy
My blood soaked shirt stuck to me
A puddle has formed
I didn't slit my wrist
I slit my throat
I picture this now for one reason...
I will not be able to see it all happen
Now that I think maybe it was just a joke
Are you even worth this?
Is the world worth this?
But would anyone miss me?
What if it is not a joke?
Should I?
I only have one decision that will lay out the rest of my life
It is one out of two
I either will die with my decision or live with it
Which is best?
Well I guess I won't know unless I live and find out
I will wait but I won't forget
This razor might not be here when I decide
But I know there will be another
For now I shall live

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No Remorse

Your death brings no grievers here
We hated you in life and death
We wished you dead when you were here
But now that you are dead we do not wish you here
You were annoying
You were a pest
If you had not been so small I would have killed you myself
You were so stupid
You killed yourself and those fools blame themselves
For some reason they loved you
But they were the only ones the rest of us hated you
Can you really blame us?
Did you ever listen to yourself?
I don't know who was stupider...
You or that woman who loved you
I tried to kill you but you got lucky
Well you were not lucky this time
It was your own fault
I am happy you are dead
Now I no longer have to listen to you
Our lives will be a lot quieter
Good ridence to you
Enjoy your muddy grave

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New Heartache

Could this be our second chance? I just hope I don't screw it up again. I couldn't have been more wrong I never had a chance. Was I going to be a one night stand. I'm just as much to blame as you are for what happened. But how could you suggest that I coud forget it. You claim you don't regret it. How could you wish to forget something that you have no regrets about? You couldn't possibly love me. If you did you would not want to forget it.
Guys can't seem to make up their minds of what they want and in the process they toy with your heart and never seem to care once they break it. How could I be so stupid? How could I let the same guy break my heart twice? I hate when mistakes feel so right. I'm a complete fool. Even when it was happening I knew it was too good to be true.

-------------------------

Secret Crush

You tell me things you can't tell her
But you stay with her
You tell me I make you happy
But why are you still with her?

I can tell you anything
Except for one thing
Thats a secret
I can't tell you
I know what will happen if I do
Still I wish I could tell you
Everytime I look into your eyes
Everytime you give me a hug
It just feels so right

It couldn't get anymore wrong
I never had a chance
You belong to someone else
You're better off

I just wish you knew how I felt
You know everything else about me
So many things you know and I never had to tell you

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piece of you

i know what i have to do
fantasy should not become reality
it is never as good
if i must i will say goodbye
but i will never fully let go
a part of you i claim as mine
if i can't have you
then i at least deserve that much

--------------------------

tears on my cheeks

this is the worst night in a long time
We were supposed to be out celebrating my birthday<
i turned twenty-one this week
but I don't think you even remembered i was there
at one point i was in the back of the crowd and your backs were to me
it was good in a way
none of you could see me cry
you acted upset when i said goodbye
why was i leaving so soon
you hadn't noticed that i was gone most of the night
sitting on the hood of your car crying
i don't know what is wrong with me
all i know is that i love you
but you don't even give a shit about me
yet alone love me
i thought you and i would be together forever
now i don't know if i could even be your friend
it just tears me up to not be with you but to be around you
i know i have to stop seeing you as much as i do but it also hurts not to be with you
i hate you because i love you and can't stop
so i get stuck sitting here crying without you to wipe the tears from my cheeks

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What you have done

Do you know what I am?
I am what lurks inside you
I live inside your heart
Did you know that?
You have never put a name to me
You aren't sure what I represent
Do you want to know?
I am the evil in you
I am growing within you
Did you know that?
You never thought you were evil
You wonder how can this be true
Do you want to know?
I am the one who makes all your decisions
I am the one who made you into a villian
Did you know that?
You still believe you are good
You don't see how you could be bad
Do you want to know?
Just open our eyes
Look at what we have done
Or should I say look at what you have done!!!

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You could never kill me

You tried to kill me
You don't have it in you
You can't do anything right
Thats what they all tell you isn't it?
You couldn't even succed in killing me
You still want to
You are thinking of a new way
Thats what they all say isn't it?
You look pathetic
You want me to suffer
You think it is the only solution
Thats what they all talk about isn't it?
You feel overwelmed
You can't find help
You wish you could escape me
Thats what they all say about you isn't it?
You hate me
You hate what I do to you
You wish it was all over
Thats what they all say isn't it?
Guess what you can't do anything right
Guess what you can't think of a new way
Guess what it isn't a solution
Guess what you can't escape me
Guess what it will never be all over
Thats what I am telling you
You know I am right
You could never kill me
You could never kill yourself
That is what I am telling me